Cancer Thoughts 3

So it has been a few weeks since my last update.

Since we have been back from vacation, it has been a non-stop two weeks, going between doctors, multiple blood test, treatment plans, dentist, mouth guards and a wax protector for my tongue, having a mask made for radiation, a surgical biopsy, a feeding tube or as the doctors like to call it a G tube and a tumor board.

Let me talk a bit about the mask, now that was an experience. I am not sure what I though but I certainly was not prepared for that experience. I walked into a room with what looks like a standard CAT scan machine, except where you put your head is a square with snaps along the top and sides. Now the technician takes this white piece of plastic out that resembles a flat colander, and she puts it in this tank of hot water and then tells me lay on the table, she has me put in my mouth guards (they look exactly what you see football players wearing, except I have one for both the top and bottom). Then I have to place this piece of wax in between them which holds my tongue down, and then my hands are strapped to the table with the strap going down around my feet. Now comes the fun part (not that kind of fun) she takes the now very pliable hot wet plastic and places it over my face pushes it down and snaps it into place, pushing and molding the plastic to my face, the hot water is running down my face and then she takes and put cold wet towels on top of the plastic which now puts me in total darkness and I can not even began to protest since the mask has now hardened enough that I can not move my mouth. So I am in the dark tied down wet and completely immobilized and then they do a 15 minute CAT scan on me. Then after the CAT scan she asks are you OK? No, I wasn’t ok, but I got through it. I have been told that they will not tie my hands and feet, and it won’t be wet and I am hoping I will have some light when I have the radiation done for real. I was mortified when I left that place.

The feeding tube, now I was sure that would not be a big deal and maybe medically and surgically it wasn’t.

Now I know all of the medical reasons for the tube and they are sound and it is good medicine to have it in place. It may save my life and let them continue treatments they would otherwise have to stop if it wasn’t in place

I was not at all prepared for what I saw when I came to from the surgery, I have a 3 foot IV tube coming out of stomach with fittings and attachments. For the first time since this started I felt and looked like a sick person. My stomach hurts, I am embarrassed and I am not dealing with this with any grace or dignity. I am pissed off, angry and mad and all I can do is just go with it and somehow learn to accept it.

The Tumor board now that was an experience. If you have ever watched Gray’s anatomy it was something like that, except they let all of the medical student practice looking through the scope that was put in my nose and then down into the back of my throat. Now some were OK and some pushed it so far I could feel it on my tongue and thought it was coming out of my mouth. There were also heads of the departments and doctors who I was lucky to have see me. The tumor board recommendation was the same as my current treatment plan so that is a good thing. I was OK with that and was happy to have them practice on me. I think it was much harder for Patty who was watching the whole thing.

So next week the treatment starts, radiation every day, chemo once a week, with doctors visits in-between. All of the stuff is now done and the treatment is starting, I will keep you updated on how it is going at the end of next week.

With Love Michael