Wednesday, March 18, 2009 we received great news today; there is no cancer at this time. My tongue has a small spot that is still healing and the lymph nodes while they do not look normal on the PET scan do not show any signs of cancer. The main lymph node on the left side of my neck that was cancerous is gone.
The doctor said since I received so much radiation the lymph nodes in my neck will never look normal. In June they will repeat the Scan and insure that everything looks the same or smaller and repeat that process in September.
I could not be happier. THANK YOU all for being here for me. I can not thank you enough. It goes without saying that my family has gone above and beyond especially Patty. To my neighbors you all went the extra mile you really are good neighbors and friends. When this started I had no idea how you would be here for me and Patty and I will always be grateful. Randy thanks for just stopping by and hanging out with me, you will never know how that helped. To all of you writing this BLOG has helped me and knowing you were all there for me to share with gave me some peace of mind.
Thank you, Thank you, I am so happy to be cancer free. I will continue to keep you updated as the scans come and go, and as always I will continue to Fight On!
Michael
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Cancer Thoughts 25
Saturday March 7th
Today Patty and I went to a Head and Neck cancer support group we belong to. It is a place I like to go there are people just like me. There are women and men from all walks of life, and yet we are all different and we are all the same. We see each other once a month on a Saturday morning at USC medial center. We tell our stories, and I get to know other survivors of Head and Neck cancer that have made it more than 5 years see new people who have just been diagnosed and everything in-between. Caregivers come with us, because they are in this as well and they need support as well.
It is not a place to feel sorry for yourself; it is a place to realize you don’t have it so bad. It a place where you realize there is always someone who has it worse than you. So far I am one of the luck ones; I have only had chemo and radiation. Others have had that and multiple surgeries, and have had there cancer come back multiple times and they are there and they are fighting, surviving and getting better everyday. We talk and tell our stories, what is going on with us, ask questions and get answers to questions we didn’t think to ask. It is a group I never wanted to be part of, but I am so happy I am. Cancer took me there and the people I meet there keep me coming back.
Today I heard multiple stories of from my friends of how there PET scans came out negative, and they are cancer free, I heard the other side of it as well. This is important to me since I am having my PET scan Thursday March 12th at 8:30 AM. I would like to tell you that all of the time I think and know that my PET scan will be negative and I will be cancer free. But there are times when I think and feel that it is not going to be that way. The closer I get to the 12th the more I have thoughts of a result I do not want. I have to remind myself that I have had the best doctors, the best treatment, and I have done everything they have ask me to do. I have been a good patient, I have made sure to do my part, the doctors have done there part, they have radiated me; put poison in me in and called it chemo therapy. I never missed an appointment and yet here I am wondering if it has really been enough? I am so scared and I can not help it, I am trying so hard not to be, I know I need a positive attitude and I need to believe that the all they have done for me has killed the cancer. It is very hard to do. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to convince myself that everything is OK, like I am a child whistling in the dark trying to be brave and not scared to death.
The truth is most of the time, I know the doctors, the drugs, and the medical equipment have all done there job as I have. I know I am cancer free there is no other option for me to believe. While there are other options I choose to believe that they are not going to be part of my life.
I am going to need to write for the next few weeks until I get the results of the PET scan on Wednesday March 18th the PET scan is an adventure, getting ready for it, the preparation when you get there and the time it takes and with all of that they make you nuclear to do the scan. I would think I will write about it when it happens, until then I choose to Fight On.
Love Michael
Today Patty and I went to a Head and Neck cancer support group we belong to. It is a place I like to go there are people just like me. There are women and men from all walks of life, and yet we are all different and we are all the same. We see each other once a month on a Saturday morning at USC medial center. We tell our stories, and I get to know other survivors of Head and Neck cancer that have made it more than 5 years see new people who have just been diagnosed and everything in-between. Caregivers come with us, because they are in this as well and they need support as well.
It is not a place to feel sorry for yourself; it is a place to realize you don’t have it so bad. It a place where you realize there is always someone who has it worse than you. So far I am one of the luck ones; I have only had chemo and radiation. Others have had that and multiple surgeries, and have had there cancer come back multiple times and they are there and they are fighting, surviving and getting better everyday. We talk and tell our stories, what is going on with us, ask questions and get answers to questions we didn’t think to ask. It is a group I never wanted to be part of, but I am so happy I am. Cancer took me there and the people I meet there keep me coming back.
Today I heard multiple stories of from my friends of how there PET scans came out negative, and they are cancer free, I heard the other side of it as well. This is important to me since I am having my PET scan Thursday March 12th at 8:30 AM. I would like to tell you that all of the time I think and know that my PET scan will be negative and I will be cancer free. But there are times when I think and feel that it is not going to be that way. The closer I get to the 12th the more I have thoughts of a result I do not want. I have to remind myself that I have had the best doctors, the best treatment, and I have done everything they have ask me to do. I have been a good patient, I have made sure to do my part, the doctors have done there part, they have radiated me; put poison in me in and called it chemo therapy. I never missed an appointment and yet here I am wondering if it has really been enough? I am so scared and I can not help it, I am trying so hard not to be, I know I need a positive attitude and I need to believe that the all they have done for me has killed the cancer. It is very hard to do. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to convince myself that everything is OK, like I am a child whistling in the dark trying to be brave and not scared to death.
The truth is most of the time, I know the doctors, the drugs, and the medical equipment have all done there job as I have. I know I am cancer free there is no other option for me to believe. While there are other options I choose to believe that they are not going to be part of my life.
I am going to need to write for the next few weeks until I get the results of the PET scan on Wednesday March 18th the PET scan is an adventure, getting ready for it, the preparation when you get there and the time it takes and with all of that they make you nuclear to do the scan. I would think I will write about it when it happens, until then I choose to Fight On.
Love Michael
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Cancer Thoughts 24
Saturday February 7, 2009
Monday was my first day back to work; it was like I never left. It was wonderful to see all of my friends and co-workers. I have been able to come home each night and still walk, although it was raining both Thursday and Friday nights so I didn’t walk those days. I am sure those of you in the eastern part of the country do not fell sorry for me.
On Friday we saw my surgeon and he said on a scale from 1-10 that I was recovering at a 9 ½ which was nice to hear. My mouth is better, I still have no taste and my mouth is always dry as I have no saliva, it may take a year for that to get better. I ask what the procedure would be if the PET scan came back showing cancer on my tongue or in one of the lymph nodes, if it is on the tongue they will do a biopsy first and if it is in the lymph nodes then surgery I would be in the hospital two days and back at work in two weeks. There is always the possibility that the cancer could spread into another part of my body and that would not be good. I tell you this for information only as I know the cancer is gone from my body that is how I think, how I believe and what I know to be true in my heart.
Patty and I are happy and doing well, I am getting better, stronger and improving all the time.
I still choose to Fight On.
Love Michael
Monday was my first day back to work; it was like I never left. It was wonderful to see all of my friends and co-workers. I have been able to come home each night and still walk, although it was raining both Thursday and Friday nights so I didn’t walk those days. I am sure those of you in the eastern part of the country do not fell sorry for me.
On Friday we saw my surgeon and he said on a scale from 1-10 that I was recovering at a 9 ½ which was nice to hear. My mouth is better, I still have no taste and my mouth is always dry as I have no saliva, it may take a year for that to get better. I ask what the procedure would be if the PET scan came back showing cancer on my tongue or in one of the lymph nodes, if it is on the tongue they will do a biopsy first and if it is in the lymph nodes then surgery I would be in the hospital two days and back at work in two weeks. There is always the possibility that the cancer could spread into another part of my body and that would not be good. I tell you this for information only as I know the cancer is gone from my body that is how I think, how I believe and what I know to be true in my heart.
Patty and I are happy and doing well, I am getting better, stronger and improving all the time.
I still choose to Fight On.
Love Michael
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Cancer Thoughts 23
Just a short note to let you all know that the doctor removed the feeding tube yesterday. There are no longer tubes coming out of my body, I can sleep and turn over without the tube getting caught and causing pain. It is a very liberating feeling to have it out, I feel like a whole person now.
I still have a sore throat and a sore mouth but they will heal with time. Thanks again for being my sounding board. Being able to write and send my feelings out to you has made it easier on me. I hope 2009 is a good year for all.
I continue to Fight On.
Michael
I still have a sore throat and a sore mouth but they will heal with time. Thanks again for being my sounding board. Being able to write and send my feelings out to you has made it easier on me. I hope 2009 is a good year for all.
I continue to Fight On.
Michael
Monday, January 19, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
The last week went very well with the doctors; my Radiation oncologist gave me permission to go back to work on February 2nd and the notes in my medical records made the comment NERD. Now that does not mean he thinks I am a nerd it mean No Evidence of Reoccurring Disease. He also gave me a return to work letter which I have given to my HR department and they have given me the OK to return to work as well.
We also meet with the medical oncologist who gave me the OK to get the feeding tube out. I can not get an appointment with the Gastro doc until January 28th so I have to wait until then to have it removed.
Next week we are meeting a nutritionist who will help with getting me on the right kind of foods. Right now I drink a lot of Boost to supplement my diet. I am hoping to keep my weight where it is for the long term. It would be OK to loose another 15 pounds but I would like to do that with diet and exercise at maybe a pound a week.
For now that is about it, until March at which time I will have my PET Scan which will be the final clean bill of health and then I will be checked ever 6 months for a couple years and then once a year until I get to 5 years cancer free.
The healing process in my mouth is still slow, my tongue is still sore and I hurt my throat eating soup that was to spicy. It will be a few weeks before I have any more news, I will let you know when the feeding tube is out and how it goes with the nutritionist. I am starting a new way of life, a new way of thinking and a new way of living. I have been walking a 1 ½ miles but yesterday extended it to 1 ¾ miles. It is a very slow walk but after a mile I start to sweat a bit and I am tired after I finish. It is a start and one I do everyday. I am sleeping better and doing more around the house each day. That is not say much since Patty has done everything for months.
Let me say I am luckiest man in the world to have Patty as my wife. With out her I do not know how I would have got through the last 4 months. Patty has been there every step of the way. From the first visit to first ENT doctor who ordered the fine needle biopsy and when we got the conformation that yes indeed I did have cancer and every appointment and treatment after that. She held a pail while I threw up in it, got up in the middle of the night to give me medicine. She has supported me, given me hope when I had none, and not only was my wife, but my nurse, and my cheerleader, she was there when I needed her. There is nothing more that you can ask is for someone to be there when you need them and Patty did that. Thank you, I love you with all my heart, you’re the best.
The last week went very well with the doctors; my Radiation oncologist gave me permission to go back to work on February 2nd and the notes in my medical records made the comment NERD. Now that does not mean he thinks I am a nerd it mean No Evidence of Reoccurring Disease. He also gave me a return to work letter which I have given to my HR department and they have given me the OK to return to work as well.
We also meet with the medical oncologist who gave me the OK to get the feeding tube out. I can not get an appointment with the Gastro doc until January 28th so I have to wait until then to have it removed.
Next week we are meeting a nutritionist who will help with getting me on the right kind of foods. Right now I drink a lot of Boost to supplement my diet. I am hoping to keep my weight where it is for the long term. It would be OK to loose another 15 pounds but I would like to do that with diet and exercise at maybe a pound a week.
For now that is about it, until March at which time I will have my PET Scan which will be the final clean bill of health and then I will be checked ever 6 months for a couple years and then once a year until I get to 5 years cancer free.
The healing process in my mouth is still slow, my tongue is still sore and I hurt my throat eating soup that was to spicy. It will be a few weeks before I have any more news, I will let you know when the feeding tube is out and how it goes with the nutritionist. I am starting a new way of life, a new way of thinking and a new way of living. I have been walking a 1 ½ miles but yesterday extended it to 1 ¾ miles. It is a very slow walk but after a mile I start to sweat a bit and I am tired after I finish. It is a start and one I do everyday. I am sleeping better and doing more around the house each day. That is not say much since Patty has done everything for months.
Let me say I am luckiest man in the world to have Patty as my wife. With out her I do not know how I would have got through the last 4 months. Patty has been there every step of the way. From the first visit to first ENT doctor who ordered the fine needle biopsy and when we got the conformation that yes indeed I did have cancer and every appointment and treatment after that. She held a pail while I threw up in it, got up in the middle of the night to give me medicine. She has supported me, given me hope when I had none, and not only was my wife, but my nurse, and my cheerleader, she was there when I needed her. There is nothing more that you can ask is for someone to be there when you need them and Patty did that. Thank you, I love you with all my heart, you’re the best.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Cancer Thoughts 21
Friday, January 09, 2009
Changes are happening slowly very slowly but they are happening. I am completely off all of the pain medication since Christmas. I am driving a bit; eating all of my meals by mouth the food is pureed still although this morning I had regular scrambled eggs and cottage cheese with no problem.
I am walking each morning and I up to about a mile and a quarter in 30 minutes, I am very tired after so it is a work in progress. My mouth is still has sores on my tongue and inside my mouth. Until they are gone it is going to be hard to add foods. The food must be very bland as it causes a lot of pain. I am at the point where nothing is happening fast enough, I am still tired, my energy is low and have to work at everything.
My concentration is much better; I can actually read now. My neighbors Mike and Mary gave me a book called Anti cancer a new way of life by David Servin-Schreiber MD. PhD. I am reading and studying this book in order to change my life. The book gives ideas on diet, exercise, attitude and ways to stop cancer from coming back. I have bought into it and hope to have a new attitude and a new way of eating.
We are waiting for approval from the insurance company to see a nutritionist to help with my diet while for a number of reasons. One is to give me a diet that will fall within the guidelines of Anti cancer for now that I can puree and still maintain my weight. I have lost another 4 pounds, now if you saw me before cancer you would think 4 pounds is good but I am now about to go under 200 pounds and that is not good, the doctors want me to maintain my weight not loose more. My wife bought a size large pajama bottom that fit just fine. Rick and Justin’s (My step son and Nephew in there late 20’S) bathing suit are a little big on me. If I stay where I am now I am good with it, I do not want to loose any more weight, or go the opposite way and start eating bad and gaining. So the plan is to work with a nutritionist to get the diet down to keep me healthy and cancer free.
I see my entire team of oncologist next week, so I will give you an update after that. I am bored, tired, my mouth hurts and I want this to be over now. I need patients, energy and a positive attitude and right now I am not sure I have them, at least all at the same time. I am doing my best some of the time and some of the time I just get by.
I still choose to Fight On.
Love Michael
Changes are happening slowly very slowly but they are happening. I am completely off all of the pain medication since Christmas. I am driving a bit; eating all of my meals by mouth the food is pureed still although this morning I had regular scrambled eggs and cottage cheese with no problem.
I am walking each morning and I up to about a mile and a quarter in 30 minutes, I am very tired after so it is a work in progress. My mouth is still has sores on my tongue and inside my mouth. Until they are gone it is going to be hard to add foods. The food must be very bland as it causes a lot of pain. I am at the point where nothing is happening fast enough, I am still tired, my energy is low and have to work at everything.
My concentration is much better; I can actually read now. My neighbors Mike and Mary gave me a book called Anti cancer a new way of life by David Servin-Schreiber MD. PhD. I am reading and studying this book in order to change my life. The book gives ideas on diet, exercise, attitude and ways to stop cancer from coming back. I have bought into it and hope to have a new attitude and a new way of eating.
We are waiting for approval from the insurance company to see a nutritionist to help with my diet while for a number of reasons. One is to give me a diet that will fall within the guidelines of Anti cancer for now that I can puree and still maintain my weight. I have lost another 4 pounds, now if you saw me before cancer you would think 4 pounds is good but I am now about to go under 200 pounds and that is not good, the doctors want me to maintain my weight not loose more. My wife bought a size large pajama bottom that fit just fine. Rick and Justin’s (My step son and Nephew in there late 20’S) bathing suit are a little big on me. If I stay where I am now I am good with it, I do not want to loose any more weight, or go the opposite way and start eating bad and gaining. So the plan is to work with a nutritionist to get the diet down to keep me healthy and cancer free.
I see my entire team of oncologist next week, so I will give you an update after that. I am bored, tired, my mouth hurts and I want this to be over now. I need patients, energy and a positive attitude and right now I am not sure I have them, at least all at the same time. I am doing my best some of the time and some of the time I just get by.
I still choose to Fight On.
Love Michael
Monday, January 5, 2009
Cancer Thoughts 20
I am now completely off all of the medications, and I actually can think and feel normal again. My mouth still has sores one on my tongue and one inside my mouth, I am not sure how long they will take to heal but when they do it will be a happy day.
I am now eating all my food by mouth, the food for now gets put into the food processor and pureed, that is good in more ways than one. If we can do this for another week we will have the doctor remove the feeding tube, we don’t want to remove it too soon and then have to have it put back in.
When all the sores in my mouth and tongue heal I will be able to eat more food and chew it up,
The food I eat must be very bland I can not even handle salt on food, creamy soups, mashed potatoes, green beans, cottage cheese, eggs, and protein shakes made from milk, boost, protein powder, and ice cream. For now it is a start.
My next goal is to get my energy level up, that is an elusive target. One day I have energy can walk and do some things, the next day I am tired and just want to sleep and lay around. As time goes by I am sure it will get better.
My last radiation treatment was one month ago today on December 5th. The doctors have told not to expect miracles and that it will take time to recover from the radiation. I see that now but want to be better now.
I have been sleeping through the night for the last 4 days so that is good, the problem is now I am sleeping until 9 AM which for now is OK but on the 19th I am going to set the alarm for 6 AM and get up and start a routine of walking and so I will be ready for work on the 2nd of February.
I would like to tell you I am happy all the time but I am not. I have those moments of doubt and worry about everything from my job, bills, and my health. Sometimes it is a bit overwhelming and I get depressed. I need to be positive and focus on my health. This is where I you’re your help, encouragement, and prayers. I love your replies to my Email so feel free to let me know how you’re doing.
Yesterday Sunday the 4th was my Logan and Landon’s 1st birthday they are my grand nephews on Patty’s side of the family. It was fun, I played rock band for an hour straight I am the guitar man, Justin on drums and his sister on vocals. We made it through all the songs we tried and it was another step toward getting better. This is it for now be well.
I still choose to Fight On!
Love Michael
I am now eating all my food by mouth, the food for now gets put into the food processor and pureed, that is good in more ways than one. If we can do this for another week we will have the doctor remove the feeding tube, we don’t want to remove it too soon and then have to have it put back in.
When all the sores in my mouth and tongue heal I will be able to eat more food and chew it up,
The food I eat must be very bland I can not even handle salt on food, creamy soups, mashed potatoes, green beans, cottage cheese, eggs, and protein shakes made from milk, boost, protein powder, and ice cream. For now it is a start.
My next goal is to get my energy level up, that is an elusive target. One day I have energy can walk and do some things, the next day I am tired and just want to sleep and lay around. As time goes by I am sure it will get better.
My last radiation treatment was one month ago today on December 5th. The doctors have told not to expect miracles and that it will take time to recover from the radiation. I see that now but want to be better now.
I have been sleeping through the night for the last 4 days so that is good, the problem is now I am sleeping until 9 AM which for now is OK but on the 19th I am going to set the alarm for 6 AM and get up and start a routine of walking and so I will be ready for work on the 2nd of February.
I would like to tell you I am happy all the time but I am not. I have those moments of doubt and worry about everything from my job, bills, and my health. Sometimes it is a bit overwhelming and I get depressed. I need to be positive and focus on my health. This is where I you’re your help, encouragement, and prayers. I love your replies to my Email so feel free to let me know how you’re doing.
Yesterday Sunday the 4th was my Logan and Landon’s 1st birthday they are my grand nephews on Patty’s side of the family. It was fun, I played rock band for an hour straight I am the guitar man, Justin on drums and his sister on vocals. We made it through all the songs we tried and it was another step toward getting better. This is it for now be well.
I still choose to Fight On!
Love Michael
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